A Second Helping of Top Chef

Episode #2 - America's Top Chef Miami

It's Wednesday night, 10PM and I've settled in to feed my reality TV addiction. Guest Judge this week is Norman Van Aken.

Quickfire Challenge Round is about "Sunshine & Citrus." One thing is certain: the colors on these dishes are certainly going to be brighter than last week's rattlesnake and liver.

There are two contestants - Hung and Tre - who are already rubbing me the wrong way. They're exuding confidence and they've decided they're the two favorites in the competition. Hung reinforces my dislike when he says of the other contestants in the Quickfire round, "I looked around the kitchen and I saw some 'slummy' dishes."

Quickfire Results:
The Bottom Three - Sara, Sandy, and Micah (she won last itme)
Top Three - CJ, Hung and Tre (shit, maybe they are the favorites) and Hung wins, and he graciously says, "I was thrilled & I didn't expect anything less." The dislike deepens.

The Sunshine Theme continues with the Elimination Challenge - the thirteen chefs will be cooking at a champagne bbq party thrown by Lee Schrager., South Florida's premier party planner and caterer.

On the menu: Brian is doing his 'seafood sausage' - which raises eyebrows among the competitors. Tre, who plans a salmon dish steps up to vie with Hung for the title of most arrogant in Miami by declaring, "I'm a serious competitor and I don't lose."
Sandee is doing a lobster panchetta..hmmm, as a barbecue?

Meanwhile, Micah is grumpy- is it the loss in the quickfire? or does she miss her daughter? Hung, again winning sympathy points comments, "don't use your daughter as an excuse as to why you're crying." Can this guy really be this obnoxious? Or are the producers manipulating me into disliking this guy?

Sara is using scotch bonnets hot peppers that are making her hands burn. She's never prepared them before and is surprised at how spicy they are. Now, this doesn't seem like a wise move. Prep time ends, they're off to the posh digs to get some sleep before tomorrow's big competition.

The BBQ is poolside. They've got two hours to fire up the grill and prepare their dishes. Sara has never started a barbecue. These people are chefs?

Lead Judge Tom Caliccio stops by to check in on the contestants. The only one exuding confidence seems to be ....Hung.

Sandee doesn't seem to be using the BBQ - Chef Tom is worried she might be "trying to put lipstick on a pig." That's not a good sign.

And the guests show up. Micah seems to have impressed. Lia serves cilantro shrimp with couscous. CJ has a NY Steak with baked pineapple. Brian has done well with the seafood sausage, as witnessed by the sizeable crowd gathered around his grill. Tre- peach bbq glazed salmon. A woman response is "bleeped" out. Hmmm. Maybe he's not as talented as he believes he is? Howie's dish tastes like sawdust. Doesn't look good for Howie.

Hung serves flank steak with grilled corn salad. Joey throws a fit that Hung 'has stolen' his watermelon shooter drink.

The BBQ ends and we're heading to the Judge's Table.

During the commercial break, the interactive text question this week is announced: Who is this season's biggest drama queen? Micah, Joey, Hung or Howie. Well, if it was, "who do you like least?" I might consider voting.

Judge's Table - the consensus seems to be that all the food was good. Hung was having a blast today. Tre's wasn't impressive. Sandee's wasn't really BBQ.

Favorite's include Brian's seafood sausage. Sara's dish was "two perfect mouthfuls." Micah impresses, too. They're the Top Three. Who wins? Brian captures the idea of an upscale barbecue. He's relieved and excited after last week's finish in the bottom four.

The bottom four, facing elimination this week: Howie, Joey, Sandee and Tre.

Wait - Tre? Haven't we been told he's one of the favorites?

Why are they here?

Tre - my dish was salty. Chef Tom lets him know some guests thought it was either underseasoned or oversalty. No consistency in the dish.
Joey - Padma asks: "What were you thinking?" The dish was missing the 'upscale' component required in this challenge
Sandee - is shocked she's here. Tom tells here she didn't BBQ. The lobster only tasted like vanilla butter. It didn't meet the challenge.
Howie - maybe my dish was a little too simple. And the pork was dry. It wasn't my best day. I haven't cooked to my potential yet. My money is on Howie being sent home this week. He barely escaped last week.

Who should go: Joey names Howie. Howie lashes back. Catfight ensues in the kitchen. The profanities start flying.

Meanwhile, the judges center on the idea of the challenge - and upscale BBQ. Sandee didn't BBQ. Joey's dish was BBQ - it wasn't good. Howie shot himself in the foot tonight. What's the bigger sin? No BBQ? Or not upscale enough?

In the end, Padma utters the dreaded words, "Sandee, Please Pack Your Knives and Go."

When You Crave Top Chef

Cross-posted at Daily Kos.

The third season of America's Top Chef started Wednesday night. After two seasons on the West Coast (SF & LA), the Bravo reality series moves east, to sunny South Beach.

"Bienvenido a Miami!"

My television viewing is typically limited to news, sports, CSI and Law & Order (gotta get my fix of Freddy Thompson as the fearless Arthur Branch). My blogging usually focuses on political topics. But, I've got this addiction to "America's Top Chef" and I thought I'd deviate from my normal blogging fare, if only to prove how much of a renaissance man I am.

Not sure why I find Top Chef so interesting - I'm not a cook. My culinary skills consist of pushing buttons on a microwave. Perhaps that's the reason. These chefs are asked to cook under pressure and deliver beautiful and tasty (at least they look delectable) dishes. It could be I'm searching for a new recipe for the anxiously anticipated DKos KookBook.

Or perhaps it's the knives and wide assortment of other sharp instruments in close proximity to conniving (yet extremely talented) contestants fighting for money, prestige, a trip to Aspen and the title of "America's Top Chef". It's a recipe for pure entertainment.

Let the back-stabbing begin!

We're told at the start this year's group of contestants are more talented and accomplished than the previous two seasons. We are introduced to them as they gather for a cocktail party at the Versace Mansion on Ocean Drive. Nice digs.

As they're relaxing and getting to know one another, in walk judges Tom and Padma - and they've got a surprise in store. The first Quickfire challenge starts now! And the contestants are asked to create an "amuse bouche" with the leftovers from tonight's cocktail party. And they've got ten minutes. Come on, boys and girls, get to it!

Well, Micah wins with her "Tuscan Sushi Revisited." Christ, this woman not only throws together this beautiful morsel with figs, fish and who knows what else but she has a friggin name for it too? Come on. You gotta be kidding me!

Up next is the Elimination Round where the fifteen contestants get to create a surf and turf with a twist. What the hell is on that table? There's Alligator Tail and Rattle Snake, Eel and Geoduck. Sounds like what little boys are made of. Seriously, what are they going to do with that? Uhm, Geoduck? (pronounced "GOOO- eee- duck")

Oh, they're creating a surf and turf with exotic ingredients. Our contestants are preparing an exotic menu: Snake and Eel, Kangaroo & Abalone, Alligator & Monkfish Liver. And I have to ask again, "What is Geoduck??" (pronounced "GOOO- eee- duck")

All in all, the contestants impress the judges. Although guest judge Anthony Bourdain observes of one dish, "I would like this if I were drunk" (One gets the impression Tony has spent many a night perched on a barstool and knows barfood when he sees it). Another dish he deems barely worthy of being served by Air Cambodia. Not sure, but I don't think it was meant as a compliment. Padma derides one of the chefs who tried to explain his decision to fry rattlesnake and eel, "You could fry my toe and it would taste good." Again, not a compliment.

Did I say it was the backstabbing contestants providing entertainment? I meant to say the JUDGES. Yeah, that's it.

The Judges agree - Tre and Hung have excelled - and Tre's dish wins the first elimination round. This ratchets up the pressure on Tre, as the winner of the first elimination round in the previous seasons has gone on to win the entire contest. Can he make it three for three?

There are four chefs who end up in the bottom group - Howie, Brian, Clay and Dale. Clay, the self-described darkhorse from Mississippi, who underwhelemed the judges in the Quickfire doesn't seem to grasp he's prepared (and served an inedible dish. He doesn't have an answer when the judges ask, "Do you know why you're here?"

Well, the judges couldn't either. Clay becomes the first contestant to hear the dreaded words, "Please pack your knives and leave."

Meanwhile, back at the suite, the other fourteen are sharpening theirs.

Oh, and for those of you wondering, geoduck is a shellfish and it's found in Puget Sound. It remains a mystery as to why it's pronounced "GOOO- eee- duck".

See? I'm a 21st Century Renaissance Man.